MELISSA MCCARTHY'S IDENTITY THIEF. SO SAD TO REPORT THAT IT'S SO BAD.

I got your I.D. Now make us laugh.

     America loves Melissa McCarthy. She's the distaff John Candy. Or maybe Chris Farley. (Watch yourself Melissa, neither lived to fifty and actually, Mr. Farley died before his 35th birthday.)
       TPC passes out those cheery notes knowing full well that you may be one of those who will slip into a theater this weekend with the memory of BRIDESMAIDS still fresh to see her latest, IDENTITY THIEF. If you do, you're most likely to slink out wondering why you went in the first place.
         That's not to say that the movie doesn't have moments. Or that Melissa doesn't try because she does. But the script is lazy with generic situations you've seen before. McCarthy is game for physical comedy, bouncing her big body around at every opportunity, But the best parts are in the previews that one can catch gratis on YouTube.

Creative advertising. Too bad the movie isn't.

           Most of you know the plot. A hard-working mensch, Sandy, played by the ubiquitous Jason Bateman has his identity stolen by a woman named Diana (McCarthy.) She's down in Florida living in an inside-and-out Hello Kitty-ish pink house and buying everyone tequila shots at a bar using credit cards with Sandy's name on them. The police won't hunt her so Sandy does. "Hilarity" ensues when she's tracked down with Diana punching Sandy in the throat and Sandy hitting Diana over the head with a guitar.
           The rest of the film is a road trip movie where the bad parts of MIDNIGHT RUN; PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES; and Barbra Streisand's recent disaster, THE GUILT TRIP; are relived. At times the film gets downright nasty with Diana's bout of roly poly sex in a bar is particularly wince-producing. TPC did find some parts unintentionally funny, like the time when Sandy's boss extols Ayn Rand but TPC is guessing that the detours into intelligent comedy will go over most heads and should.


         
           The answer to yesterday's trivia question is MIAMI VICE. Today: What is the name of Melissa McCarthy's character that she played on more than 150 episodes of THE GILMORE GIRLS?


          TPC still has ballots available for its annual Oscar contest. Contact the projectionist.