CATCHING UP WITH JEN LAWRENCE...

Paging Shirley Eaton!  J.Law as Mystique in X-MEN.

         Five years ago Jennifer Lawrence was a supporting actress on a cable TV sitcom. Then came WINTER'S BONE. Her role of Ree, filmed in the wilds of the Missouri Ozarks helped her get an Oscar nomination while working for minimum principal talent wages, $3000 a week.
          Fast forward to 2013 and she's the "it" girl, equal to Meryl, Julia, or Charlize. She got the 13" gold-plated statuette that many good actors pursue for decades last year for SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK and if one is measured by the money one earns, she'll be pocketing $10 million for CATCHING FIRE, the sequel to THE HUNGER GAMES, and that's twenty times the salary she got the first time around.
           Despite being just twenty-three, there's no expectation of LiLo or Charlie Sheen behavior in her future. A grounded family life helps and besides there's no time for rehab when you're jumping from film-to-film. One production, THE DEVIL YOU KNOW, was largely filmed way back in 2005. Considered to be a

Upcoming: With Mr. Cooper in SERENA.

mess, it's now being dusted off for release this year simply because J.Law has a small part in it. Another, SERENA, is guided by the Danish director, Susanne Bier, who helmed the Oscar-winning IN A BETTER WORLD in 2010.  Set in Depression-era North Carolina, Jen has the title role of a woman who can't produce an heir for a timber tycoon and reunites her with Bradley Cooper--her love interest in SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. There's also a new X-MEN movie. She's also matched with Mr. Cooper again, in AMERICAN HUSTLE, a mobster movie that will be out near the end of 2013. (For those of you playing at home, that's three with B.C. in a year!)
         Did TPC mention she's the new face of Christian Dior?
         But the one film the popcorn lady and the projectionist will be watching for is THE GLASS CASTLE based on Jeannette Wall's blockbuster bestseller. J.Law will play Jeannette, and if you're one of the few who hasn't read the book, you should. (Disclosure: Ms. Walls is a friend of the popcorn lady and the projectionist and lives nearby.)
          TPC can't wait.


         Did you recognize the late Lorne Greene from Bonanza and Alpo in yesterday's trivia pictorial? Mr. Greene was a news broadcaster in his native Canada and was known there as "the voice of God." Today, who's this legendary actress?
                                                           

       
         
   

OH, CANADA! OH, PICTURE DAY! OMG!

Tatiana Maslany in PICTURE DAY. (Remember the name.)

     Canadian movies are largely ignored in the lower forty-eight. That is, unless it's the kind of horny housewife dreck that's force-fed to the lonely ladies who get their kicks by watching flicks on the Lifetime Channel. So it's a pleasure to report that Canuck Cinema has a winner in PICTURE DAY, a coming-of-age flick set in Toronto.
         Kate Miles Melville, who wrote and directed the film has come up with a plot twist made for dramedy. It goes this way: Rebellious Claire (Tatiana Maslany) is punished by being forced to repeat her final year of high school.
          High school vice-principal to Claire: Do you want to spend the rest of your life here? Claire: Why not. You have.
           Claire has a few things going her way. She may still be a teen, but she has a 33-year-old boyfriend (Steven McCarthy) who's in a budding rock band, so why attend classes? But wait, there's a ninth grade nerd whom she used to babysit and needs mentoring. And yes, he has a crush on her that gets a bit creepy as she tries to prepare him for his class picture, slated to go in that all important yearbook. As we all know, that photo may bring back memories

twenty years from now.
          Claire thinks she can help out the young punk because she once helped him conquer his fear of monkey bars at the playground. This could be a challenge since the kid (Spencer Van Wyck) has left his toddler days and now dabbles in soft drugs, growing marijuana in his closet. The closet also contains an homage to Claire that includes some saved chewing gum wrappers.
           (Did TPC use the word "creepy" yet? He should have said "yikes" as well.)
            Any film that offers euphoria, laughs, and a few tears is well worth seeing or renting, since some areas will still be running IRONMAN 3 in August. PICTURE DAY is well worth a visit, purchase, or rental.

         
             Yes, that was the mom of Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, in yesterday's trivia pictorial. Today, long the best known Canadian actor, he's better known in the U.S. as a cowboy and a hawker of dog food. Who is he?
                                                                             

 

      

"NOW YOU SEE ME" IS BRILLIANT!

Isla Fisher ready for the big "glug glug" in NOW YOU SEE ME.

     There are bad magician movies. A month ago--THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE-- despite a great cast, failed on every level. But there are good ones as well. In 2006 there were two, THE ILLUSIONIST with Edward Norton and Jessica Biel plus THE PRESTIGE with Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman.
        Now comes a great one and by putting both Michael Caine and  Morgan Freeman in the same film, the popcorn lady is threatening to be first in line when it opens on May 31st. Adding to the fun: Mark Ruffalo, Isla Fisher, and Woody Harrelson, and that perennial clunker, the insufferable Jesse Eisenberg. Also, for rap fans, Common.
          The flick, of course, is NOW YOU SEE ME and here's the big trick. A group of Las Vegas

magicians is able to rob banks while on stage doing illusions. Sometimes in other countries. And for the grand

finale, the cash from the robbery rains down on the audience from above. There's a logical answer to all this, really but TPC won't give it away.      This is a roller coaster of a caper film, the perfect flick for summer, with one caveat. Although the French director, Louis Leterrier (CLASH OF THE TITANS, THE INCREDIBLE HULK) knows how to produce a big  budget spectacle, in NOW YOU SEE ME, he may have gone a little too far for a few oldsters. The cameras are constantly moving and thus the sleight-of-hand on screen combined with the tricky moves from behind the megaphone can be confusing. On the other hand, perhaps the director is intentionally confusing the viewers, all the better to wow them when the twists are revealed.
            A very satisfying way to start the summer.

                                                                                 

              That was indeed Jayne Mansfield and daughter Mariska Hargitay in yesterday's trivia pictorial. Today, it's a rite of passage that all Hollywood starlets pose for swimsuit pix. This young lady would become one of tinsel town's biggest stars of the 1950s and 1960s. Recognize her?
                                                                           

   
       
   

SPEAKING OF BEA ARTHUR AND ANGELINA JOLIE'S BREASTS . . .

John Currin's painting of Bea Arthur just fetched $1.9 million.

     I started with a 28AA. I don't think they made them any smaller in those days..."Don't worry," said my friend Libby, "you'll get them after you're married."
      "What are you talking about," I said.
       "When you get married," Libby said, "your husband will touch your breasts and rub them and kiss them and then they'll grow."
           Of course that was part of the late Nora Ephron's (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE) essay on breasts and not having them. She was obsessed with her lack of a bosom throughout her life, not that it stopped her from having three husbands and two boys. As they used to say in high school, "She has a great personality."

             This has been a big week for bosoms and there have been more conversations about them than Benghazi. First you had Angelina Jolie's double mastectomy, courageous because she made it so public in the hope that other women would have the same gene test she'd had and thus possibly prolong their lives. (See TPC's May 16th entry.) Then we learned that an old 1991 photo of GOLDEN GIRLS/MAUDE actress Bea Arthur had been studied by famed artist John Currin, who used his imagination, and painted her nude, a development that the late Ms. Arthur would likely have applauded before demanding a cut of the $1.9 million cash it brought.
             There's an old joke that goes, What do model train sets and women's breasts have in common? The answer: Both are intended for children but it's the fathers who always wind up playing with them.

             Which brings TPC to the "why." Both sidewalk psychologists and even those with degrees have

reached the same conclusion: American women don't breastfeed infants enough which leads to an obsession by young men in adolescence. Well, that's one theory. There are others.
              But back to mesdames Jolie et Arthur. Bea Arthur's portrait was painted using a photo taken when she was in her seventies. Jolie is thirty-seven and there are numerous shots of her body available by a simple touch of the keyboard. Both have equal fascination to men, and even women--who constantly compare themselves with others of their own sex.
             So TPC will end today with a line from the Oscar-nominated actress, Lee Remick, who died of cancer in the year that Bea Arthur's now infamous photo was taken: Breasts and bottoms look boringly alike. Faces though, can be quite different, and a damn sight more interesting.
             TPC plans to take the middle road and focus on belly buttons for the rest of the year.


            Yes, that was Sir Ben Kingsley yesterday as Dr. Watson with Sir Michael Caine as Sherlock Holmes. Today: A famous mother who was noted for her bosoms and her now equally-famous actress daughter. Can you name both?
                                                             

               

FROM A BLING RING TO BERGDORF'S.

A passion for fashion? Well, perfect for Saint Patrick's Day, at least.

    Yesterday, TPC discussed THE BLING RING, the true story of a gang of teens who broke into the mansions of movie stars to steal expensive shoes worth at least $600 a pair. Jewelry too, TPC should add, except it better have been in a robin's egg-blue box from Tiffany's. Today TPC segues into the documentary, SCATTER MY ASHES AT BERGDORF'S, a celluloid   paean to conspicuous consumption at a luxury department store in New York City. The flip side of THE BLING RING, if you will.
        Bergdorf's is actually two buildings in Manhattan, straddling 5th Avenue, and is where one can buy--rather than steal--those Christian Louboutin heels. Their $600 price gets sniffed at by some supervisors who rhapsodize instead over pairs with $6000 stickers and bemoan, "We can't keep them in stock."
         Now that some of the patrons are dead, the store's employees dish about the time Elizabeth Taylor waltzed in and ordered 200 pairs of white mink earmuffs to give as gifts or when John and Yoko plunked down $400,000 for eighty fur coats to hand out as Christmas presents. Sort of the height of hypocrisy, don't you think, since Lennon once wrote: Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can. No need for greed and hunger, a brotherhood of man.

          TPC is certain that the consumers who throw away money at Bergdorf's gladly pay $2500 apiece to attend a charity ball

A 2012 holiday window: "Deck the halls with Bergdorf's follies."

and also likely give ten percent of their income to a cause. And why not? This kind of spending is sponsored by the tax code, is deductible, and gives faceless millionaires relevance and provides them with cocktail chatter for months as they recount a brief chat with a Joan Collins or a January Jones, who--unknown to them--were paid to appear and act interested in whatever small talk come their way.
          That's not enough for TPC who notes that there are more than a billion adults on this planet who earn less than two dollars a day and that six grand for two gaudy shoes would feed a thousand hungry children for a week. On the other hand, I guess, capitalism makes everyone prosperous. Well, at least, a few.
           But, you say, nobody forced the movie creators to make this shock doc that portrays excess. Would it surprise you to learn that the film was financed by one of the founder's millionaire descendants? So the ticket you buy entitles you to sit through a 93-minute infomercial, punctuated with the braying of Joan Rivers and Susan Lucci. Bamboo shoots under the fingernails is a more pleasant way to spend an evening and please send the $11 you save to a children's charity of your choice.

        Of course, that was our gal Lindsay Lohan aka LiLo in yesterday's trivia pictorial. From a recent court case, but which one, who knows? So many. Today, yes, that's Michael Caine on the left, but who's the fellow playing Watson?
                                                                     

 

         

THE TIME THE VALLEY GIRLS BURGLED PARIS HILTON AND TOOK HER SHOES.

      

Whatever.  (But this is, like, a true story.)

       The San Fernando valley, just north of Los Angeles could well be called the superficial valley, as too many of the teens there proudly embrace materialism as a chief pursuit.
     So, it's no surprise to learn that in 2008 a group of five high schoolers began breaking into the mansions of movie stars to steal Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin heels, shoes that start at $600 a pair and go up--way up--from there. Evidently, all it took was a thorough reading of the gossip tabs and a Google search to know when the stars were traveling.
      So then, this is THE BLING RING, which has to be taken somewhat seriously as it's made by Sofia Coppola, of LOST IN TRANSLATION and MARIE ANTOINETTE fame and stars Emma Watson from HARRY POTTER. (Watson seamlessly slides into Val-Gal inflections from Brit-speak, by the way.)
        Coppola tries to comment on the girls' selfish greed but basically the film recounts the gang's break-ins.

When they break into Paris Hilton's house they comment on the size of her closets which appear to be larger than many two-bedroom apartments and dish with insightful quotes such as: "Her feet are so big!" Ms. Hilton, who may have made more porn films for the web than real movies for the multiplex, also makes a cameo. And why not, since she also rented out her house as a set for the flick? Her hotelier heritage still resides in the genes, apparently.
         As you might expect, Lindsay Lohan pops on the screen as well, probably miffed that her house wasn't used, as it was burgled as well. Later, when the girls get caught, and do some very brief hard time, one of them brags that she was on the same cell block as LiLo and that rather sums up an indisputable aspect of American culture today.
         THE BLING RING was the opening film at the Cannes Film Festival this year, and was taken as a metaphor for the times. Whatever.


        Did you recognize Gary Cooper in yesterday's trivia pictorial? Who was on the other horse, TPC wants to know? Today, speaking of valley girls, here's an easy one which TPC is using just because he likes the caption.