THIS IS THE END: NO ARGUMENT HERE.

         If you look up the definition of "gross-out movie" online--and TPC did--you'll see that it's a comedy described as "tasteless, disgusting, nauseating." The popcorn lady would probably add the word "language" to that since the film we're talking about today is THIS IS THE END. It uses the word "f**k" 342 times in 107 minutes, so that's a record--not to mention every other obscenity in the English language and maybe a few invented just for this flick. The projectionist might also mention that these products draw young males into the multiplex the way a mass of bloody meat attracts hungry wolves.
          THIS IS THE END breaks new ground and TPC isn't sure where to start. First, all the participants use their own names and it's about the Rapture (Were the Christian evangelicals right?) It's the end of the world and giant holes with fire at the bottom are cropping up all over, or as one person describes them, "sink-hole de Mayo!" These new young stars (Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Michael Cera) huddle at James Franco's house and amuse themselves with masturbation contests and three-way sex in the bathroom with Rihanna showing up to sing Take Yo Panties Off so many times you'll want to join Chris Brown in physically stifling her. 
          And that's before the windows are boarded up--literally--with Mr. Franco's modern art collection. Which is after someone tries to break in through a window, the intruder is decapitated, and the cast plays soccer with the head.
          Seriously.
                                              

       This is also before the once-classy Emma Watson--of HARRY POTTER fame--breaks in with hatchet-in-hand and promptly clubs one of the guys. And before Jonah Hill gets raped by a giant penis in a direct steal from ROSEMARY'S BABY. Did TPC mention that a key actor sips his own urine from a juice box through a straw or Michael Cera is impaled by a flying lampost and then asks, "does it look bad?"
           Now you know, indelibly, the definition of a "gross-out" movie which further hastens the end of Western Civilization as we know it.
            Oh, and TPC should fully disclose this: James Franco--in a final, blasphemous flourish that follows his comparing the holy trinity to Neapolitan ice cream --ascends to heaven as Whitney Houston sings and God grants him his lifelong wish. That, of course, would be to see The Backstreet Boys reunited and poof--there they are--singing one of their old hits.
             And if that's what heaven is all about, please leave TPC out.
                                                                             

           Yes, that was David and Posh Beckham as yesterday's trivia couple. Today: An emerging star in a photo taken way back then. Who is she?
                                                                     

     P.S. Happy Birthday to Donald Trump, 66, and Boy George, 51. Who knew these two had anything in common?

THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW .....OR AT THE VERY LEAST, NEXT YEAR.

Quvenzhane in BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD.

           That cute little Quvenzhane Wallis--who stole moviegoers' hearts last year on the Oscar red carpet after her star turn in the surprise hit, BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD--has landed on her feet. She's the title character in the remake of ANNIE, the hit Broadway musical and the so-so movie version that had a mixed reception in 1982, both in revenue and reviews.

            The new reboot will have color-blind casting and Sandra Bullock is said to be a lock for the part of Miss Hannigan, the manager of the orphanage that was played by Carol Burnett. Can Sandy--not the dog--sing? She was a dancer before she was an actress but there's no evidence of her having great pipes, but they said that about Meryl Streep before MAMA MIA. Jamie Foxx has the Daddy Warbucks role that was played by Albert Finney in the first try and--sacrilege!--Jay-Z is doing new songs which TPC doesn't mind since he came out ahead with his contributions to THE GREAT GATSBY. Will Smith is the producer which has to be tough since Smith's daughter, Willow, had a shot at playing Annie earlier.

            

             Also, that's Naomi Watts on the left, mimicking  Princess of Wales, Duchess of Cornwall, Countess of Chester, Baroness of Renfrew, Diana in the anticipated flick--at least for royalists--DIANA, which will open just after Labor Day. There's no Prince Charles or Camilla in this one, which focuses on the last two years of her life. Instead, we'll get the dirt on her relationships with Hasnat Khan, the Pakistani heart surgeon and Dodi Fayed, the Harrod's heir. Also, plenty of shots of Naomi as Diana tiptoeing through fields of landmines. She does have the look down, don't you think?

                                                                             

        Yes that was Susan Dey aka Laurie Partridge aka Grace Van Owen as yesterday's trivia photo. Okay, if you're up on the big names of the day, these two should be easy. Who are they?

                                                                        

P.S. Happy birthday to Siegfried Fischbacher aka Siegfried of Siegfried and Roy, who is seventy-four today!

CHANGING THE WORLD, SUPER STYLE.

Would it hurt to smile, once in a while?

            "You're not just anyone. One day you're going to have to make a choice. You'll have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be. Whoever that man is, good character or bad, it's going to change the world."

       Way to go, Papa Kent. Little Clark is barely a teen and you're laying the kind of lecture on him that even the projectionist wouldn't think of trying with his own grandsons. On the other hand, though super in their own right, the projectionist's grandkids can't fly. 

       The new Superman (Henry Cavill) in MAN OF STEEL gets a guilt trip lecture every time he blinks his eyes. He gets the same kind of talking-to from his biological father, Jor-El, (Russell Crowe) who dishes out this advice: "You will give the people an ideal to strive forward. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders."

        Okay, then. So, and certainly not to be blasphemous, is Jor-El God, and Superman, Jesus? And what about that cute Amy Adams as Lois Lane? Is she Mary? Or more likely, Mary Magdalene, as she does have designs on his bod.

                                                 

        Ms. Adams' Lois Lane is a far cry from Margot Kidder who tested Chris Reeve's X-ray vision back in 1978 by asking him what color panties she was wearing. ("Pink," he reluctantly reveals to a blushing Margot.) None of that for this Lois, who we're told has won a Pulitzer. She asks Superman basic questions and gets unexpected answers.

              "What does the S stand for?" asks the Lois Lane of the 21st Century.

              "It's not an S. On my world it stands for hope." says our hero.

       

               At times this Superman seems to be channeling SNL's Jack Handey, the DEEP THOUGHTS character created by Al Franken. While certainly the special effects are great, and the bumbling Clark Kent character is gone, TPC is not sure he likes this MAN OF STEEL. While better than Brandon Routh in SUPERMAN RETURNS, it's missing the likeability of Chris Reeve's interpretation.

               One more thing: This movie cost $225 million and Warner Brothers has hedged its bet by placing $150 million-worth of product placements. Our new hero uses a Nokia phone and only buys burgers from Carl's Jr. with a Chrysler product in the background. The amount is a record.

           Did you spot Joan Crawford as the TPC pin-up gal and trivia question yesterday? The movie is the cult favorite, JOHNNY GUITAR.  Today, she's a former teen star who made it into adulthood. Who is she?
                                                               

                                                         





     

A DARK, MEMORABLE "IMMIGRANT."

    The photo of the Statue of Liberty was taken two days ago from a water taxi by the projectionist's 10-year-old grandson, Andrew, on a visit to New York City. Coincidentally, it's the very first image one sees in James Gray's bleak but unforgettable new film, THE IMMIGRANT, which takes place almost a century ago. (Good job, Drew!)
        THE IMMIGRANT has a dream cast for this type of movie. The year is 1921 and Ewa, a Polish immigrant, played by the magnificent Marion Cotillard, arrives on Ellis Island with her sister, Magda. The arrivals are serenaded by an impromptu performance by Enrico Caruso but the two

women have problems. Magda has tuberculosis and is sent to an infirmary and Ewa is about to be deported

because she's been exposed to the disease. Enter Bruno (the intense Joaquin Phoenix) who smuggles her off the island, and makes her his prostitute in a theater he owns. But Bruno's cousin (Jeremy Renner) also wants her, and he's a sweet magician with a great levitation trick.
          Cotillard's character, at first dressed in rags, has ideas of her own. "I am not nothing," she protests in Polish and by the end of the film, proves it.
           This is Joaquin Phoenix's third film with Gray (the others were TWO LOVERS and WE OWN THE NIGHT)  and the three actors work together as smoothly as the gears in a Maserati. Filmed in dark sepia with golden undertones, the film shows us both the beauty and the ugliness of underclass life in the New York City of the early 1920s. TPC won't give away the ending, but it will give you shivers.
                                                                     

Joaquin and Ms. Cotillard in THE IMMIGRANT.

       Yes, that was the new NRA heroine, Barbara Stanwyk, in yesterday trivia photo. From CATTLE QUEEN OF MONTANA, circa 1954. Today: Yes, that is Joan Crawford. Can you name the movie, a cult classic?
                                                                     

       
                                                                                                                   

WOODY ALLEN, CATE BLANCHETT, ANDREW DICE CLAY, AND SUPERMAN.

Woody Allen on the set of Blue Jasmine with Cate Blanchett.

         Today's TPC headline sounds like the type of phrase Ed McMahon used to say to Johnny Carson in his Carnac routines and got a question in return. E.g., "A McIntosh, a pear, and a lemon," Ed would say, and Carson-as-Carnac would answer: "Name an apple, Dolly Parton, and a Pinto."
        Sound it out. Exploding gas tanks anyone?
         And that's the big movie news today. Woody Allen returned from his European tour of London, Barcelona, Paris, and Rome--skipping New York--and settled in San Francisco where his new film, BLUE JASMINE takes place. The popcorn lady never believed she would live long enough to see the elegant Cate Blanchett and the foul-mouthed Andrew Dice Clay in any movie together--but see what can happen if you exercise and eat right--anything can happen!
         This latest Woody is a Bernie Madoff-ish tale of a neurotic, moneyed socialite (Blanchett) whose rich hubby (Alec Baldwin) got caught and is on his way to prison. So she moves from Manhattan to San Francisco and bunks in with her sister. And if the Diceman weren't enough, Louis C.K. has a big part which may signal the impending end of civilization as much as anything.
                                                   

         A few words about MAN OF STEEL, the new Superman movie that opens Friday... Warner Brothers is attempting to stir up controversy to sell tickets and sometimes that's not a good sign. Controversy number one is that Henry Cavill, the actor who plays the subject at hand, is the first non-American (He's British) to put on the costume. Big deal. Second, this is the first Superman not to wear the traditional red diapers tights. Fans are very big on the traditional look and in this case, the expectations are out the window. Third, there's a tornado sequence in the film and the producers are dithering as to whether or not to delete it in respect for the recent disasters in Oklahoma. (Trust TPC, they won't.)

            We'll have a complete discussion of MAN OF STEEL later this week.

                                                                         

    Yes, TPC is doing horses now and that was William Boyd as Hopalong Cassidy with his stallion Topper in yesterday's trivia photo. Today, not an NRA tribute, but do you recognize this screen legend from one of her westerns?

                                                                        

THE GOOGLE MOVIE; THE WIKILEAKS FILM; AND NOW THE TEA PARTY FLICK.

          There's a little horror movie called THE PURGE, out this weekend, made for $3.5 million that will sell about $37 million worth of tickets and lead the box office. You would think those of the conservative persuasion would cheer this bit of naked capitalism, but as TPC pecks out this entry, nearly every scribe of the right has put Benghazi, the I.R.S., and "the NRA is listening in on our phone calls" issues back on the "do later" list to attack this tiny and very bloody popcorner.
        Let's turn an ear to Fox News, an outlet that never deals in hyperbole, for its take: While the plot may seem on the surface like any hundreds of other futuristic hellscape directorial  visions from CLOCKWORK ORANGE to OBLIVION, THE PURGE has been dubbed by some as a thinly veiled attack on The Tea Party and The National Rifle Association and has some critics rolling their eyes. (Note the "some." Actually "some" critics have applauded the flick and "some" missed the Tea Party allusions.)
          Never mind that. To the keyboards.
                                                    

           
     
      The movie is a direct attack on the NRA, an organization filled with law abiding gun owners, says the far right leaning Media Research Institute. The loony left's hatred of the second amendment is founded in the concept that people who don't break the law are somehow evil for exercising their Constitutional rights. THE PURGE is also an obvious attack on The Tea Party and Christians.
      TPC is guessing that if you're Jewish or otherwise, you're okay. Unless you're a member of the "loony left" and want to respond with some name-calling of your own.
       Here's what THE PURGE is all about and, as you might expect, neither The Tea Party nor the NRA is ever mentioned: The year is 2022 and the U.S. is being run by an organization called The Founding Fathers of America. Unemployment is down to one percent and crime is nonexistent. But--and this is a big but--during one 12-hour period each year--crime, including murder--is legal, so the populace can let off steam. The rich cower in their gated communities and the poor have at each other. That's it and the flick stars Ethan Hawke, who's been in better movies and Lena Headey, who plays the queen in the even bloodier GAME OF THRONES.
        Movie studios used to hire protesters to hype a film in order to sell tickets. In this case, they don't have to--the filmmakers are laughing all the way to the bank.
                                                                         

                                                                     

     
                         
         Yes, that was Michelle Pfeiffer as yesterday's trivia photo. It's from GREASE 2, circa 1982. Today: He's one of the best known cowboy movie stars of the 20th Century. Can you name cowpoke (easy) and the name of his horse (hard.)